If You Give a Grissom a Toddler
by thegreatbluespoon
Summary: Sequel to 'The Borrowed One.' If at first you don't succeed... borrow, borrow again.
1. If you give him a kid

I'm only semi-back for now. I was gone because I kinda lost my will to write, I got engaged and found out we're having a bebe, and I got the hell out of IL. I decided that, since PMs and polls show you still kinda like me, I'd go ahead and do something.

Shorter than a midget it may be, but it's still getting posted. I have more written, but to do the entire sequel (that word means go read the first) in a one-shot would be like shoving a knife in a toaster- just not smart.

Thanks, TDCSI and Amber. Rosie... me wuvs you.

* * *

It had been a while since the Grissom home had had the intense pleasure of being completely destroyed at the little hands of Trent. Actually, it had been just over two years.

The work emergency that his mother had gone rushing back to had turned out to be quite the work travesty, so visits back to Uncle Nicky weren't really on the list of foreseeable things for Trent. But…

Grissom really wanted a child.

Like, _really_ wanted a child.

And he hadn't shut the hell up about it since Trent had left. Once Sara's plan had failed and he'd gotten it into his head that two would be just _so_ much more fun than one, she knew she had to try again to show him that kids were out of the question for them… though the thought of children _may_ have crossed her mind on an occasion or two… or five.

With a phone call to Nick, her plan was underway.

--

Once again, work had proven to be a ridiculous affair. Phasing out Ecklie's nagging comments had really been no big thing, but when Catherine just would _not_ shut up about how unfair it was that Sara got the night off and she hadn't, Grissom had had enough.

When he told her that Sara got the night off because Sara's 'Complaint Mode' at least had an off switch, his apology was just as instantaneous as the movement that had the specimen jar being flung at his head.

When Catherine told him that Sara was going to get her wish of no children because she was going to castrate him the next time he ever so much as _thought_ of making a comment like that again, he apologized twice more and decided that home was definitely where he needed to be right then.

After a phone call to Sara caused some pit stops on his way home for some… weird items, Grissom finally pulled into their driveway, more than ready to head off to sleep. Killing the engine, he got out and grabbed everything from the back before heading to the house.

Walking in, he slipped off his shoes as he dropped his jacket and briefcase before he headed down the small hallway towards the living room. Struggling a bit with the other bags he carried, he slowed his pace when he heard Sara giggling.

'_What the hell_?' he thought.

He heard her say, "You like that, huh?"

Then came a familiar man's voice. "I think they both do."

Both?

As in way more than that guy?

Jesus, Sara!

Dropping the bags where he had stopped to listen, he stepped into the living room, yelling, "What the hell, Sara?!"

Nick shot up from his seat on the couch, swearing about the scalding hot coffee Grissom had just caused him to spill on himself. This scared Bruno, causing him to bark and take off running. That scared the heck out of a child, obviously Trent by the looks of him, who had been sitting on Sara's lap, feeding ice cream to Bruno out of his bowl. Now Trent was crying, thinking he had done something wrong.

"Gil, what is _wrong_ with you?!" Sara yelled, standing up and passing Trent to Nick.

Seeing who she was talking to, and knowing that everything was taken heavily out of context, Grissom immediately began tripping over his apologetic words. "I… the- uh… you know, it… I- what?"

"Dumbass," she muttered and walked him into the kitchen to get Nick a wet rag.

Pointing over his shoulder into the living room, he asked what was going on.

"How was work?" she asked, obviously not wanting to have the conversation while Nick was still around.

"No. No, no, no. Sara, why are Nick and Trent in our living room?"

"Probably because _someone_ is still on a paternal trip-out," she said. "I'm not sure what about '_I don't want kids_' is so hard to understand, but you really just don't get it."

"I want kids," he said with a shrug. "Why is _that_ so hard to get?"

"It isn't. I do get it, but now that Trent is a couple of years older, maybe you really will get my point this time. Sure as heck didn't last time. I mean, trying to feed Bruno my birth control, Gil?"

An understanding look slowly found its way to his face. "Wait…"

"Welcome home, Grissom. Your son's back," she smirked.

* * *

So the title... Kinda stole it from 'If You Give a Mouse a Cookie,' because it semi makes sense. Or it will. Maybe. Anyway, the rest is more entertaining; this was just the starting point. Kinda get-the-feel-of-it-again sort of thing.

I'm sure you haven't forgotten how to review…

thegreatbluespoon


	2. the kid will want something too

For some we-hate-spoon reason, I couldn't reply to reviews. So... yes, Dave and I are getting married sometime in some kind of future; thar really be a baby in muh belly (rumor has it that he/she will be here about a week shy of my b-day in April, and no, we don't have a name b/c Dave is a hater); I seriously moved to NC, 820 miles from everyone in IL.

Thanks for the reviews, thanks for caring... and here we go.

* * *

After Nick cleaned himself up, the three of them discussed Trent. Now that he was a little older, there were many things to take into consideration this time around.

Christmas was going to pop up while he was in Vegas, as was his fourth birthday. Then they had to think about the fact that all of them worked. It wasn't always going to be easy to have one of them available to watch him. This meant that they'd have to find a babysitter since Trent was to be around for a little longer this time… not that Grissom knew that.

Under orders from Sara, Nick never mentioned how long Trent was going to be there. Sara figured that if he didn't know, then he would go insane from the pressure of it all.

--

After Nick bid farewell and left, Sara told Grissom to watch Trent while she went and talked to some of the neighbors.

"Why?" he asked.

"Some of them have teenage girls that would probably go so far as to lick a penguin for money, Gil," she said. "I'm sure we'll have no problem finding a bunch to interview for babysitting him when all three of us have to work."

"Oh. Well, okay." He gave a shrug as he watched Trent hide behind the steps, obviously waiting so he could scare Bruno when he came down. "I think we'll be fine."

"See you in a bit," she said and gave him a kiss before she headed out, knowing he was in for a bit of a surprise.

Ten minutes into his own babysitting gig, Grissom was reading the paper when Trent grew bored of waiting for Bruno to come back downstairs. Trent got up from his strategic position and moved to stand in front of Grissom. Since staring at him wouldn't work through the newspaper, Trent gave his leg a poke.

Moving the paper, Grissom sat up and smiled. "Hey."

"Hi," Trent answered back, shocking Grissom.

"You talk?" Grissom asked, his face screwed up in confusion.

"Yeeeah. I'm four," Trent said and held up four fingers. "Gonna be," he shrugged.

"Okay…"

"I'm bored," Trent told him and sat on the edge of the coffee table. "The dog's lazy."

"Okay…"

"Uncle Nicky says you got bugs. I like bugs, too."

"Okay…"

Swinging his legs, Trent giggled and asked, "Is that all you say?"

Grissom shook his head. "Sorry. It's just that, the last time you were here, all you did was scream in my ear. You couldn't talk. This… this is weird."

"You're weird."

Grissom laughed, "Why's that?"

"You're old," Trent said innocently. "You look like Grandpa, and Aunt Sara looks like Mom."

Grissom's face fell.

"You don't match," Trent informed him.

"Well-" Grissom started.

"But Uncle Nicky said you're Uncle Gil, just like a fish," Trent said, sucking in his cheeks and puckering his lips.

"Close enough," Grissom laughed.

Trent proudly said, "Mom says I'm a good fish."

"The best I've seen in a long time, Trent," Grissom agreed. "How about we go check out some bugs now?"

"Cool."

--

When Sara got back home, it was to see Grissom and Trent moving rocks and digging small holes in the front yard with spoons.

"Rollie Pollies!" Trent squealed and pointed some out to Grissom with his spoon.

"They're actually called _Armadillidium vulgare._"

Trent stared at Grissom, and then snorted, "Yeah, or Rollie Pollies."

"Or Rollie Pollies," Grissom conceded.

"Mom gets mad when I eat 'em."

Grissom's face lit up at that. "Trent, provided that it's not a stink bug, you're more than welcome to eat all the bugs you'd like while you're here."

Trent gasped, "Really?"

"Sure. I'll even eat one with you." Grissom popped one in his mouth and Trent laughed.

"You're _gross_!" he yelled through a laugh and stuck one in his mouth, too.

Sara groaned as she saw her plan instantly begin to fall apart right before her eyes. With the way it was going already, not only would Grissom still want two kids, but he'd want to adopt Trent on top of it all, just so he'd have a bug buddy.

"Hey!" she yelled as she walked up to them. "You're destroying my yard!"

"Aunt Sara!" Trent laughed, "Rollie Pollies!" He held one up to show her before he stuck it in his mouth.

"That's not right," she groaned. "Griss, you'd better be planning to put all this dirt back."

"Hey," he said, throwing his hands up, "It wasn't just me."

Trent laughed.

"Blame it on the kid. Nice one," she laughed. "Since Nick has shift off tomorrow, he can watch Trent. When we get home, four girls are willing to watch him when none of us can. We all have to interview them," she told him before she went inside to fix something for them to eat.

"_Girls_?" Trent asked with a disgusted face.

"No, Trent. Girls are wonderful if you give them the chance to be," Grissom laughed.

"Ew!" Trent groaned as he pushed some dirt back into a hole and covered it with a rock. "_Girls_!"

Grissom laughed and helped to fix the yard before they went inside to clean up.

--

Eating with Trent proved to be much more fun than Grissom remembered it to be. This time it was full of conversation between three people about zoos, tacos, Vegas, lazy and non-lazy dogs, bugs, Trent's neighborhood record for most grass eaten, and many more interesting things… or things that held the interest of Trent, anyway. It was nothing like the last time when it was a conversation between two people about how to keep the third from chucking his peas across the room during a fit of laughter.

After they'd all finished eating, Trent asked what was next in their day. Sara's answer was not what Trent wanted to hear.

"Go to **bed**?!" Trent gasped. Pointing to the nearby window, he pouted. "There's still sun out there!"

"Yes, I know, but we have funny times that we go to work. Those funny times mean we have funny bedtimes, too."

"But I wanna play!"

"Uncle Nicky will be here when we leave. When you wake up, you can play then."

"But I wanna play _now_!" he cried.

"Trent," Grissom started, "there are going to be plenty of times we can play. I promise."

In a pitch they'd both swear cracked glass somewhere in the house, Trent revealed the awesome power… of throwing a fit. "_**BUT I WANNA PLAY NOOOOOWWWW**_!"

As if the shrill wasn't enough, Trent slid out of his chair and onto the floor as his legs and arms flailed. Grissom looked at Sara and she told him that if they ignored it, Trent would stop. Not knowing that the trick Sara mentioned had been known to fail on _many _occasions, he trusted her and went about finishing his meal.

But it wasn't so easy when the angry kid scooted farther under the table to start kicking Grissom's leg.

"Now what?" he asked Sara.

"Move your legs. Or let him kick until he tires out."

Well, Trent could kick and kick hard, so Grissom decided that he'd move. But Trent just moved with him and continued to kick.

"Seriously?" Grissom huffed.

"Feed into it and he'll do it all the time. He'll quit in a little bit." Sara shrugged and continued eating as if nothing demonic was taking place.

"_**I WANNA**_!" came a scream and a too-close kick near Grissom's naughty bits.

After twenty minutes of "He'll quit in a bit," Trent actually did stop kicking. The high-pitched call of the Trent went away with the kicking, but was replaced by something else.

"Laaa la la la LAAAAA laa la LAAAALALAla LAAA la LA!" Trent sang out.

As Bruno howled out, Sara laughed so hard that she snorted.

"Poor dog," Grissom laughed.

"Poor neighbors," Sara corrected. "You know they can hear all that."

"La la do la da DA LA dooo la DOOOOO LA laaaa!" he nearly screamed.

Grissom complained, "For someone with as wide a vocabulary as he has, he doesn't sing very good songs."

Sara chuckled, "I think it's more for annoyance."

"I think it's working. I thought you said he was going to quit this?"

"Ignoring it _is_ supposed to work."

"Then let's go watch TV for a little while. Maybe it'll work if we aren't by him."

They cleared the table, save for Trent's plate since the fit took place before he'd really gotten anything to eat, and went to see what was on.

Trent noticed and continued his songs as he got up to follow, promptly taking a seat that blocked their view of the television.

Grissom, tired of waiting for the tantrum to end, went over to see what he could do to calm the boy down.

"I want to go back outside," Trent told him.

"Well, I'd like to go to bed."

Trent repeated, "Well, I want to go back outside."

Grissom laughed at that. "Yes, I'm sure you do, but we're going to bed now," he said and reached for Trent.

"But. I. _Want_. To. Go. _Outside_," Trent stated in quite possibly the most evil voice Grissom had ever heard a child (or adult for that matter) use.

"Right. Well, I'm sure you can see that it doesn't matter. We need to go to bed."

Grissom picked him up, suffered a shot to the groin, and set him back down for Sara to carry.

Up the stairs they went. Everyone got ready for bed, and to Grissom's severe pleasure, Trent was put to bed in the guest room ('cause guest rooms are for _guests_, you know).

Sara read Trent a book about Waffle Men on the moon and told him goodnight. She thought that effort, and the fact that Trent had suckered them into letting Bruno sleep with him, would work.

Ha.

As more and more vocal masterpieces found their way to Sara and Grissom's room, they couldn't help but wish for earplugs.

"Go get him. He can sleep here today."

Grissom's protests began instantly. "No! No way! He slept here the last time, Sara. You remember all that pee?! He's nearly four!"

"Which is why he's able to sleep in the guest bed," she agreed, "but if he isn't going to sleep, then we can't leave him alone. He'll get out of bed and tear this house apart."

"Then he'll get in trouble."

"Go get him and put him in bed with us. He can't wake up without waking one of us."

When Grissom tried to protest, he was met with defiant eyes, so he did as he was told.

Walking into the guest room, he was nearly knocked over by Bruno as he escaped. He interrupted one of Trent's more original songs so far, and couldn't help but laugh more.

"I can't sleep," Trent said.

"So I've heard," Grissom chuckled and helped him out of the bed. "Come on."

Walking with Trent down the hall, Grissom laughed as they passed Bruno. He let out a whine and backed into the bathroom. "Sissy," Grissom hissed at him.

"Who's a sissy?" Sara asked when they walked into the bedroom.

Grissom helped Trent onto their bed, walked back over to shut the door and said, "Bruno. I still don't see how _that_ dog is supposed to protect us if someone were ever to break into this house. He'd probably crap on the rug out of fear or beg to the guy that broke in to feed him."

"Oh, come on. He isn't that bad, Gil."

"He is," Trent agreed. "And he's lazy."

"Right," Sara said. "Well, Trent, right now is the time that we go to bed. Like we told you earlier, it's going to take a couple days to get used to it, but you will."

Getting back into the bed, Grissom patted the spot between himself and Sara. Trent moved to it and climbed under the blankets.

"I'm not going to fall asleep," he warned them.

"Just shut your eyes and pretend everything's disappeared," Sara told him through a yawn. "I bet you'll be asleep before you know it."

--

Obviously, Sara and Grissom didn't mean to both fall asleep before Trent had, but with Grissom just coming off shift, and Sara having spent the last few hours entertaining/withstanding Trent, they were both too tired to stay awake…

* * *

The score: Sara-1, Grissom-0, Trent- 1/2. Even though Sara suffered right along, it still showed Grissom that tantrums suck worse than a ten-dollar hooker on prom night (so I hear).

Even if I still can't reply, you should still review because it makes the baby happy. Are you really going to deny a _baby _happiness?

thegreatbluespoon


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